Learning to Dream Again.

I am a dreamer.  I love to sit, think and just dream of the many things I want to do.  Dream of experiences in my life that are bigger than me.  Dream about enjoying life to the fullest.  Dream about my kids and how their lives will unfold.

But on that Monday night in October 2013 my world changed completely.

My dreams died. 

My ability to dream died. 

My desire to dream died.

For months I felt dead. Dreaming was is a huge part of my DNA and I couldn’t muster up the energy to dream, even about my little baby girl that was coming into the world. It was hard, really hard. I often found myself at a loss for words because I wanted to just spill all the dreams I had known but I knew all of those dreams were dead.

For months I tried to dream. I went back to what I knew, my old dreams, the old safe places and tried to dream again.

I was stuck. 

In my heart I wanted nothing more than to sit and dream.  Not just for me but for what God has for me. Dreams for my kids. Dreams for my future. Dreams for ministry. Yet, I knew in order for me to dream again I had to allow my heart to be available again.

I had to be available {def: ready for use} for my Jesus to start to spark those dreams into the places that had died. I knew I couldn’t allow him into those places if I was still wounded. So I began to allow Him to heal my heart, the place where my dreams began.

As months and months and months went by I worked, prayed, sought Godly wisdom, studied the Word and then prayed more and more.  I started to realized my heart was changing. The heart that was worn, beaten, broken, dead and not able to dream was slowly starting to heal.  This heart was starting to see life different.

So I took a risk…. I started to dream again. This time my dreams were different. I started to dream from my heart.  A heart that was hard after my Heavenly Father’s love.  A heart was after His heart. A heart that wanted to please Him first. I knew these dreams would be different, they were not mine, they were His. I knew these would be safe dreams for His future for my life.

I’m starting to see my dreams come true.

One by one. 

The dreams of my heart.  The ones that He has given me.  It’s a slow process and one I will continue to walk through the rest of my life but a beautiful one when you choose to dream the dreams your Heavenly Father has for you.

A dream... now a reality. I bought a house!

A dream… now a reality. I bought a house!

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it. I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

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